so Raya comes and goes.
and as usual, th 11 houses on first day, the jalan raya with friends and blablabla.
pictures all at FB okay!
and now i just wonder how everything should flow.
and when one's presence becomes a dream.
but that's when dreams are not for the reality.
so maybe even with all the teases, it became immuned.
and even at times when we just look at each other, we knew it wont happen.
because we had bad experiences.
we just couldnt let go of what we feel was freedom now.
free of the world's burden.
free of being tied up.
free of the word relationship.
so through those stares we sit in quiet.
and when others made jokes, we laugh.
and we look at each other.
and it ended there.
the taste was like rock sugar with salted coffee.
it all ends up neutral.
oh maybe thats how i really feel, deeply.
and then theres pictures i just saw.
how talented you were in that jersey.
how your living condition was.
how lucky you were.
how charming can you be.
but you didnt have it all - not even at home.
and then after that was a lepak time.
even a second can change something.
what about a day?
why was i nervous?
and then we knew it all.
we shared, in a group.
and i guess as much as it hurts me, someone felt my hurt with somebody else too.
but we are busy. school, work, lepak. what else.
we're concern about whats ours.
and we are not ready to give it all out.
or maybe someday, somehow.
but you see, i cant expect it.
and there were people i thought i could hold on to.
person whom i thought i always look up for.
people who i thought i could always seek advice from.
people who are close to me when they dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
or maybe not at all.
because i dont know how to put across.
and i dont wanna be a burden.
i dont feel like i have to tell.
i dont want them to hear me ranting.
they/he/she are busy with what life caters for them.
and it's like it's unfair.
and if everyone keep asking the same question,
how am i to answer.
even farhan says he looked at me and he felt worried.
and im not even close to him.
okay whatthehell.
everyone have their own life aye?
so i stand up for mine.
so i live high, live mighty, live right.
I AM CONTENTED, mind you.
im just, tired.
and hopefully, i dont have to undergo surgery for my arm.
so reserved as i still am.
i will find a way out.
Labels: dedicated to some people.
