everybody thinks you're well.
everybody thinks i'm ill.
watching me fall apart.
falling under your spell.

but you're fooling yourself, you're fooling yourself.
cause you say you love me.
and then you do it again, you do it again.
and you say you're sorry.
and then you do it again, you do it again.
and again, and again, and again, and again.

Re-offender - Travis.

i think your actions wander you off in a state i couldnt save, not for now. but then again, i could not take a step away. being humble explains it all. at the very beginning, it wasnt even together officially. what do you think?

i think sometimes people dont think. they just do.

now ask me why didnt i get a newer model?

oh well, the bread wasnt enough for the butter, you get me?

and half of Dbl6 to Sufian's Sis Sayang Wedding!

& the girls were at my place for small dinner and a bunch of laughter!

yes i get jealous.
dont you?
you will, when you dont have the things that others have.
you will, when you dont have enough to own it.
you will, when you lose hope in getting it.
nonetheless, that's your life. you gotta live with it.
how lucky. how damn effing lucky some people are.
but then, when it comes back to you,
you dont seem to see how lucky you are too.
i am, in any way or another.
oh, i think you're just fooling yourself.

on the contrary, i think it all ends up from one's heart.
if the heart is good, good shall befall.
and of course, vice versa.
but what if, what if one day.
you give it all and got nothing in return?
it should be from the beginning, that you shouldnt hope for anything in return.
give. give all you want, but only sincerely.
then you shall get the rewards.

but the rewards might not be satisfying. not at all.
it feels like my 2 years plus job.
what do i get in return?
not even senior crew. not even more than a day schedule per week.
but it have already become a part of me.
a part where its hard to release.
a part where its skills and knowledge are at my fingertips.
a part when even scooping icecream becomes an aptitude.
it becomes a practice.
i think its time i settle down and think of a new beginning.
or i save this, and restart afresh.
either way, im not losing it, im not losing this grip.

and neither am i losing my touch on you, babylove.

what a busy week!

parkway with azil!

work at HD Hilton with Kat!

IT Fair with Jamal!

i see, so this is what happens when a priority loses its position.

i know, i know. i should be understanding.

little did you know, i really dont know how to react.

i mean, i can understand. i can give in, yes i can.

i just thought, hey didnt YOU just planned this thing just now?

and when i told the other beloved one.

he didnt even bother to reply.

i'm not the least bit angry.

disappointed? yes.

sad? yes.

maybe i thought the least you two most important person could do is to ask me.

so these are the heartfelt sacrifices of a friendship.

so this is what happen when things get serious, it gets even more complicated.

Sunday 07/03/2010.
so i had a good day at work.
busy? yes.
happy? yes.
apparently, sufian came over at 1 to do some FOC cleaning. (yeay!)
and then irsyad came at 2pm, an hour earlier to his shift. (double yeay!)
and of course im working with viona. (triple yeay!)
obviously helen came to work with a black face, complaining she doesnt have a good sleep last night, she sleep less hours, blablabla...
go get a life, you china maplek. bug off us!

shop like shopping!

fake red apples.

rows of chocolates! yummy!

after work, myself and sufian went to find badminton rackets for a "good investment" (by yan's talking), then i suggested Giant Tampines have better variety than NTUC. so off we go!

we were obviously shopping to our heart's content. and now my pocket is pinching me!

i need to save up for IT Fair next week, REMEMBER HASLINA?! oh gosh there goes my kachingssssss today!

i tell you sometimes i feel like starting all over.

sometimes its like giving up.

at times its like amber.

it will turn to red.

but the light red still turns to green.

i watch myself go.

oh we can all swim with good fins.

but we should never go low.

AND IM BACK FROM EXAMS!

WOOHOO. TRUST ME. THE FEELING IS SUPER GOOD!

OH ALLAH S.W.T, PLEASE LET ME PASS IT ALL. INSYAALLAH.

Finally, Kak Lyz's wedding is over!

I hope you will always be blessed with good wealth, health and great happiness along with Abg Nizam.

Had a good enjoyment with poly mates on the last day of exams!

And of course i need to meet Dearest Jamal after a week of not seeing him!

Obviously, work has been sucky - for we all know the reasons why.

I NEED A NEW JOB! ANYBODY? RECOMMENDATIONS!? hehehe.

Next Week Plan :

Monday - Find new job!

Tuesday - Work at Hilton in the morning till late evening. Off to dinner with HD people!

Wednesday - Shazie & Azil's sleepover at my house!

Thursday - IT Fair with Jamal and sleepover at Fizah's crib!

Friday - Rest i guess.

Saturday - Madrasah!

Sunday - Work at CS HD.

Hopefully everythings gonna go according to plan.

And PLEASEEEEE GET WELL SOON MY DARLING BABY!