now ask me why didnt i get a newer model?

oh well, the bread wasnt enough for the butter, you get me?

and half of Dbl6 to Sufian's Sis Sayang Wedding!

& the girls were at my place for small dinner and a bunch of laughter!

yes i get jealous.
dont you?
you will, when you dont have the things that others have.
you will, when you dont have enough to own it.
you will, when you lose hope in getting it.
nonetheless, that's your life. you gotta live with it.
how lucky. how damn effing lucky some people are.
but then, when it comes back to you,
you dont seem to see how lucky you are too.
i am, in any way or another.
oh, i think you're just fooling yourself.

on the contrary, i think it all ends up from one's heart.
if the heart is good, good shall befall.
and of course, vice versa.
but what if, what if one day.
you give it all and got nothing in return?
it should be from the beginning, that you shouldnt hope for anything in return.
give. give all you want, but only sincerely.
then you shall get the rewards.

but the rewards might not be satisfying. not at all.
it feels like my 2 years plus job.
what do i get in return?
not even senior crew. not even more than a day schedule per week.
but it have already become a part of me.
a part where its hard to release.
a part where its skills and knowledge are at my fingertips.
a part when even scooping icecream becomes an aptitude.
it becomes a practice.
i think its time i settle down and think of a new beginning.
or i save this, and restart afresh.
either way, im not losing it, im not losing this grip.

and neither am i losing my touch on you, babylove.